What's In A Name?

In addition to mastering the bayonet and potato peeler, my military years required learning to speak acronymese. Some reading this may understand what is meant when I say that two PFCs from DIVARTY were TDY to the ROK, where they served with KATUSAs. Or, for those more nautically inclined, I could tell you about the two LDOs from the GW who had trouble with their POV coming back from PSD at the NAS across town. Acronyms might have their place and purpose, but should be designed in such away that they inspire respect and do not detract from the item, program, or organization they are meant to represent. I just can't be the only one sniggering when Colombia's FARC makes the news. As one who could never keep a straight face when the Sunday school teacher spoke of Balaam and his talking ass, these acronyms also struck me as amusing:

Leaking Underground Storage Tanks

Building Officials Association of Texas

Dust and Aerosol Measurement Feasibility Test

The Moro Islamic Liberation Front

Even when people think an acronym may not be enough, the chosen company or product name might have been better planned. Need examples? Try:

Thin layer chromatography plates company

For your next party

Sports drink

Lost in Translation?

I'll probably never be asked to join the Moro Islamic Liberation Front, but I suppose I can start my own organization. Any one care to join my Twisted Writers And Thespians Society?

Bush 4.0

      Just when you thought it was safe to back in the polling booth, yet another scion of Bush (S.O.B, anyone?) has surfaced. I give you George Prescott Bush, son of Jeb, nephew of Dubya, and grandson of Bush '41, the man so statesman-like that he once barfed on the Japanese Prime Minister. Look for the Republicans to shamelessly romance the Hispanic voter with candidates like this latest product of the Bush Brand. We can expect to hear more from GPB, obviously. The real question is if he has the courage to establish his own clear vision and stand on his own merit or will he, through self-interest, become a willing GOP lapdog?

Missing Mr. Kruschev

    

      Remember the Cold War? It was in all the papers. Those were halcyon days when cheerful slogans like “Better dead than red,” and “Kill a Commie for mommy” tugged at our heart strings. We knew the Rooskies and fellow travelers were hell-bent on taking over the world and it was our job as good ol’ God-fearing capitalists to destroy them all and make the world safe for democracy. Then what the hell happened? I remember going out for coffee one Thursday in 1989 and when I got back to my desk, the Berlin wall was in ruins, regular flights from New York to Moscow began leaving every day, and every kook from Waziristan to Priest River, Idaho gained access to Soviet miltary hardware. Suddenly, Iran and North Korea are nuclear contenders and space-program hopefuls, Kalsnikov-wielding insurgents are running amok all over Asia and North Africa, and a week in America just isn’t complete without a report of a mass shooting.   

     Who knew that the years when everyone was gearing up for nuclear winter were actually the good old days?  Oh, for the paranoia and simplicity of the missile envy era!