Thousands of Mad Hatters, One Tea Party: Dispelling the Myth of Victory.

Much has been made of the tea party and its impact upon early twenty-first century American politics. Depending upon your point of view, the weeks leading up to the election were full of hope or anxiety. The media spoke constantly of how the Tea party would be a game changer, a revolt against Washington. A September 2010 article by Kasie Hunt on Politico.com perfectly encapsulated the hype and fallacy leading up to the election. Hunt stated that after Christine “I’m not a witch” O’Donnell of Delaware’s Senate campaign, there were ten top tea party candidates “you need to know.” In addition to O’Donnell’s defeat, five of those featured candidates lost. The demise of one member of the Darjeeling Mafia, Alaska’s Senate candidate Joe Miller, is particularly worth noting.

     Although Miller’s Senate race unfolded in what should have been the fertile grounds of Scary Palin’s back yard, which incidentally has a lovely view of Russia, things went poorly. Miller was personally endorsed by the unholy Tea Queen, but was beaten by write-in candidate Lisa Murkowski. Let’s stress how embarrassing that is, shall we? Successful write-in campaigns for major offices almost never happen. The last time was when Strom Thurmond of South Carolina did it in 1954. What that means is that Alaskan voters proved they would rather go to the trouble of writing in the nine letters it takes to spell Murkowski on a ballot than make one simple ‘X’ beside the name of the Tea party candidate.

    There were many stories circulated about how this election spells the end for President Obama, but did anyone writing this drivel bother to pick up a history book first? A quick review for those keeping score: Harry Truman went into the 1946 mid-term elections with an abysmal 27 percent approval rating, lost forty-five House seats, twelve in the Senate and was elected in 1948. After his first two years as President, Ronald Reagan lost twenty-six House seats, gained only a single seat in the Senate, and was re-elected. Finally Bill Clinton lost fifty-two House seats and eight in the Senate, and was re-elected.    

     Like Reagan’s “Let’s make America great again,” or Goldwater’s 1964 appeal, “In your heart, you know he’s right;” the Tea party was nothing more than a clever Republican marketing tool. Regardless of whatever spin is being shoveled out; the reality is a marked failure for the Tea party. One-hundred and thirty Tea party candidates ran for US House of Representatives, but only forty won. If I smoked a bag of weed and hit myself in the head with ax, I still wouldn’t think this election was a successful outing for the Tea bags.

     So, with it understood that there really was no “Tea party effect,” here are your predictions for the 2012 election: barring any scandals, Mr. Obama has nothing to fear. He will face Mitt Romney or Mike Huckabee in the general election and will beat either handily. If she is stupid enough to run, the Marquis de Palin will achieve nothing in the Republican primaries. She will not even get a sniff at a running mate spot, as she has shown herself to be a steaming cup of political and intellectual poison. Or is it tea?